Shot from the other night. We put up a couple thousand flags to honor Johnny as he came home to KY. It should be a spectacular site when we drive in the precession tomorrow from the funeral home to the Church where he will be laid to rest. My heart is the heaviest today that its ever been. The past 10 days have been the hardest and most painful days of my entire life. I just hope and pray Johnny can see all that has been done for him back here in the hell we call earth. Several people have contacted me saying there have been official memorials and other special events all over the world. People have dedicated their marathons runs, horse show competitions and several other things in honor of this amazing man who I call my husband. I think he would be blown away if he knew people from all the crevices of this world have been doing things for him. Taking care of me…which was what he was most concerned about. It warms my heart and breaks it all at once. Isn’t it funny how that works out? You never think about the things that are done once we depart this earth. Or at least.. I never did. Before all of this even…I have always consisted myself an “old soul” and have appreciated things most at my age never will. It’s scary though, I have grown and changed so much in these 10 days since my husband has gone to be with God. I will never be the same but I will always keep him memory alive. He is always going to be my soulmate. Tomorrow is his funeral (well..today) and it feels like my whole heart was ripped out and its going with him. Although its morbid all I want to do is crawl up next to him and go with. But.. He’d be on his knees if he knew my sadness and pain was about him… So instead I will live and appreciate each day God gives me and smile for Johnny. Like he always smiled for me.
Just wanted to make sure you all knew how much everything means to me as well. Please continue to pray for me and the rest of our families. I still feel like I’m going to wake up from this at any moment. None of this is real. I’m on my knees begging God to wake me up. #dearGod
Audrey Niffenegger, The Time Traveler’s Wife (via pierre-du-soleil)
So, a package came. And I’ve had so much love and support overflow into my heart from so many people I thought this was something from one of you. But instead it was from my beautiful, loving, perfect husband. Baby yes I love them and I love you. You are so thoughtful and so sweet. Every piece of me aches. I am so broken. These gifts are so wonderful because I know they are from you - my better half.. My soulmate.. My heart and soul. But they are so hard to accept. So hard to see your notes. I love you forever baby. I will see you soon. Please give me the strength to make it through another day. Please guide me and hold me. I need you. I love you. Always. #dearGod
Today I went to base and got my new ID card with Johnny’s last name. Then I went and sent off for my passport. It’s been a long process trying to get it squared away but today it happened and I expedited it. They said I could have it in 2-3 weeks. I was so excited to tell Johnny the news- that I could fly to Bahrain when it came in to see him! I didn’t even make it home when I got the word that he “may” have died. To find out thru FB is absolutely the worst feeling. The Navy did not contact me for 8 or 9 hours after his death and I had called about 100 different numbers trying to get information. When I did get home about 5 mins after that first message from his friend… I came home to these lovely presents from my husband. They were for our anniversary Saturday. Thank you baby.. So much. They’re perfect! I miss you more than words can say. My heart is broken forever. I pray that you visit me in my dreams so I may be whole again. #dearGod
Miss this perfect face. Today, one year ago, Johnny asked me to be his girlfriend ❤ when we were at a BBQ in GA. He was fresh off the plane from Greece and we met in the most random way :) He invited me to a BBQ with his new and old friends. When I got there one of his new coworkers was like “who is this..girlfriend, wife, friend?” And he said “this is my girlfriend.” And I pretended not to hear cuzzzz I was like uhhhhh idk. Hahaha. Anyway, later that night he kissed me and said “did you hear how I introduced you earlier”? I said no lol. And he said “I said you were my girlfriend..” And I was like “oooooh :D is that what I am”? And he said “if you’ll have me.” Hahaha. How do i even remember this? He was sweet! And slick. And I waited 5 weeks for that question! Everyday before that was torture haha. I was smitten. Still am ❤😍 #loveyouboo